THE WISHMASTER

INTRODUCTION: Undoubtedly the low point of my bank holiday weekend, and that includes the time I was being held by the police, this film, the latest to bear the Wes Craven seal of approval, hits our screens like shit hits a fan. "Scream 2" it ain't. Hell it ain't even "The Hills Have Eyes II". 

SYNOPSIS: A Djinn (a malevolent genie) reeks havoc in ancient Persia until the court appointed sorcerer manages to trap it in a gem stone. Cut to present day LA and the Djinn escapes its imprisonment to grant wishes to people whether they like it or not. 

REVIEW: OK, so it's not the most frightening of concepts but remember the old saying "Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it." The Djinn's power is limited to granting wishes until his rescuer, a young gemologist named Alex, completes her traditional three wishes. But Barbara Eden or Robin Williams this guy ain't, he grants the wishes in the worst possible way. 

Linda Hamilton look-a-like Laurer puts in an adequate performance as our heroine Alex and she is ably supported by a cast of genre regulars including Robert Englund ("Freddy Kruger"), Tony Todd ("Candy Man"), Kane Hodder ("Jason Voorhees") and Ted Raimi puts in a brief, even by his normally non-epic proportions, appearance. Yet the villain duties are handed over to the decidedly wooden Divoff.

There's a good showing of horror alumni behind the camera too. Directly behind it is "Nightmare on Elm Street" cameraman Clark Peterson. Directing him is Craven's long time sparring partner Robert Kurtzman, and this is presumably the reason for Cravens agreement to attaching his name to the flick. Hellraiser script writer Peter Aitkins produces the disappointing story, based on an idea by former Disney exec. Clark Peterson, presumably some sort of backlash at "Aladdin". 

A moderately engaging story-line is dropped and ignored wherever possible, in favour of buckets of gore and bog standard he's behind you style shocks. This clearly indicates where this flick is coming from, namely the bad old days of 80's schlock horror and video nasties(*). In this, the age of the Post-modern slasher flick, a la "Scream" & "I Know What You Did Last Summer", both from the Craven stable, it seems oddly out of place, the sort of relic that you would expect to find in Beumont's (Englund) museum/gallery. The dullest and most unimaginative denouement in cinematic history leaves the story open for a sequel, but I seriously doubt one will ever be made. 

The effects are impressive and gory but one would expect nothing else from Kurtzman the K in KNB, the effect team behind "Reservoir Dogs", "Mars Attacks!" and "The X-Files". Ketchup and computer-generated imagery are combined in nauseating perfection. 

The scariest thing about the film is, as ever, undoubtedly the audience. I Don't know what it is about Craven films that draw in the worst cinema audiences imaginable, but there was more than enough spitting on the ceiling, crunching popcorn and talking through the film, to go around. But then that just adds to the atmosphere of a good horror flick doesn't it? That, and watching them slowly troop out as the effects get bloodier. 

I know it's hard to resist a film with Craven's name attached, no matter how tenuously, but I wish you'd try. 

Mutts Rating: ** 

* The Lizard would like to disassociate himself and his Lair from this remark. As we all know schlock horror and video nasties are good for the character and are to be recommended to all our readers. I shall be starting a campaign to have them broadcast free to all schools. 

Home | Reviews | Reputations | Contact the Lizard